As I waited on the subway platform this morning I couldn’t help but wonder if I would get the chance to meet some of my fellow class that I would be training with. I had to remind myself to be the best version of myself. Although I know first hand, first impressions are important but 2nd and 3rd are more true to who someone truly is.

I left an hour and 45 minutes before my time slot thinking it would only take me the hour and 12 minutes as Google told me it would. Boy was I wrong. Why does this company insist on choosing the most geographically undesirable locations for their pre-employment theoretical hoops, that only feel in place to see if we will jump through them as willing employees?

The 7 train was having all sorts of problems, I ended up having to get off and get an UBER… money I hadn’t planned on spending. Later, on my way back I ended up taking LIRR back into the city… UGH.

Got to the hotel where the medical portion of my pre-employment is taking place and it was relatively easy to find the meeting room. A very nice woman asked if I had completed the paperwork. Being the over-achiever, “of course” I replied, I smiled and asked her for a glass of water as I knew a urine sample would be required.

After she gets me a cup of water I quietly wait in the hall, as she finished up with another employee. I sat next to a gentleman whom naturally I asked which training class he was in, and found out he wasn’t in our classes at all but was to be the first class for short haul flights out of Stuart airport. Interesting.

Finally after 5 minutes, the woman calls me in. I sit and go through the normal questioning. Any scars… yes, 2 or 6… wait do you count these as separate scars?. Breast reduction scars and appendectomy scars grace my body, no tattoos. Then an eye test. I am blind without my glasses. Hopefully, LASIK is in my future. Finally, pee in a cup. In my brain, ok I’ll try.

How strange is it that urine is required to be employed. I go to the bathroom and wouldn’t you have known, I get my period. FUCK. Ok. I have no tampon or pad. Cool. I go out and ask either people, both the woman who just interviewed me about almost nothing and the medical assistant if they have tampons. I eventually waste 2 quarters trying to use those pad machines finally succeeding on the 3rd try and now have to wait outside as I have missed my time slot due to mother nature. Not to mention my courtesy of not wanting to bleed on their chairs. You’re welcome.

I didn’t even realize I had missed my time slot. I went in to thank the medical assistant for a quarter and the doctor was talking to another person, and snapped at me to read the sign on the door. First impression, he was a butt hole. The door had no sign and was wide open.

Happily, I went out and sat down next to a very nice girl who was starting training, only not in April, but in May. She seemed a little younger than me, and after talking I found out my suspicions were correct.

We chatted for a while and when the lady who asked me the beginning questions came out, she was holding a canister that looked like PH for another persons pee test. I asked her if it was PH, as I was curious because I was on my period now, she stated its glucose and ketone strip. REALLY… they aren’t even drug testing us. Not that it would be a problem but you would think they would.

A few minutes go by and the fellow flight attendant almost and I had great time talking but it was my turn to go in and chat with the doc. My second impression was somewhat better, but still odd. He insulted my choice in contacts, and confirmed that I am blind, while mentioning he is an ophthalmologist… REALLY you are an EYE doctor. He then moves on to look at my disclosed information and tells me I need an updated note about my medications. Cool.

We move on the physical portion I guess. First thing he looks in my ears, and my mouth. Then on to the stethoscope… now, I am a busty lady and I happen to be wearing a low cut shirt, not too low but you could see some cleavage. I know there is no need to put that stethoscope below my shirt but for some reason, probably cause he hasn’t felt a young woman’s breast in a while he decided to stick that stethoscope about two inches under my shirt. I could have said something, maybe even should have (the feminist in me wanted to put him in his place), but I let the old guy get his jollies. Hell, my boobs are pretty awesome. He tapped my knees to make sure I had proper reflexes then I had to prove I could balance and touch my fingure together and to my nose while my eyes were shut. Oh, and turn my palms right side up while my eyes were close to make sure I didn’t have a nuero thing and turn my head.

All in all pretty painless and the old man wasn’t too bad, just a bit pervy. 1-year certificate to fly until I get that updated letter and then they will extend it.