Bullying is a form of harassment where someone uses their position of power to intimidate, shame, or lesson you.

I recently had an experience where it was clear that I couldn’t just sit back and allow it to occur. I’ll tell my side.

1st leg of the trip: I was speaking with a fellow cabin crew about an incident I was involved in previously (see UnFit To Fly), after the crew member asked me about it. It got me slightly emotional and instead of staying with the crew member, I went to discuss my worries with the senior.

After telling the senior, I was relieved but the senior was not very empathetic and he wasn’t very consoling. I basically had to defend myself further to him and convince him that I was ok after stating that I got emotional because of two specific similar situations.

Then when we arrived at the hotel the senior pulled me aside and told me our conversation was troubling to him. He also shamed me for having emotions. Verbatim said there should be “no crying while flying.” He told me he had never had any drama like this on his flight and I was confused because as far as I was concerned it was a good flight. I did everything required of me safety speaking and in terms of service. I asked him to elaborate on what drama he was talking about and he said I was continually talking about a past incident and I shouldn’t be.

I exclaimed that I was directly involved in this incident which others have approached me about and has to do with safety so I have a right to dispel rumors and talk to my colleagues about the incident to better inform them. I found this entire exchange very concerning cause not only did I feel misunderstood but also shamed for having feelings and singled out for no apparent reason. During which the senior also told me he was debating writing me up and as I am on a final warning (he knows this because his roommate was involved in the same incident) he didn’t want to report me as it could cause me to be fired. He also stated that tomorrow is a new day and he hopes no other drama will occur.

The next leg of the trip was a great flight. A colleague whom is a senior but not the senior on this trip (flying low rank) made fun of me (at the time I thought it was in good fun as I get along with this colleague) and mentioned that I wasn’t wearing lipstick. She had mentioned this the previous flight. In both instances I was wearing lip gloss. Our manual is ambiguous about lip make up and doesn’t clearly state what is required. To please this colleague I put on a bright red lipstick.

She then continued to point out my lipstick to the senior on the trip and asked him to clarify if lipstick was mandatory pointing out he was my boss. I pointed out the ambiguity in the manual and said I would text our base chief for clarification which I did and she said it is mandatory. I then apologized to both seniors if I had given them a hard time.

The next day I showed up for the third leg of the trip. I had a nude lipstick on as I had misplaced the red lipstick and the only other colors I had were bright pink and dark brown. I also had a bag of food with me which was not regulation but depending on the senior sometimes they allow it.

When we arrived at the airport the senior approached me in front of the crew and verbatim said “do you want to work this flight?” I said “yes”.

He then criticized my lipstick saying it had shades of blue and it was unacceptable and then I motioned to the bag and asked if he’d like me to take the lipstick off and throw out the bag. He confirmed and then proceeded to lecture me and bully me. He used his seniority and his position of knowledge of my final warning to say he could have me fired.

I proceeded to throw out my purchased food and take my lipstick off. I then presented him with the colors of lipstick I had. He chose the dark pink color which sufficed.

As far as I know, I was not made aware of any other drama or issues with other crew members.

We got to our destination and I could feel that I was being talked about behind my back and was not being made aware of issues. I had, to the best of my ability, done everything the cabin chief had asked of me while other crew members were not held to the same standard.

I felt singled out and embarrassed.

When I got to the hotel I was informed by HR that a crew member had made a complaint and asked I be removed from my flight the next day which was supposed to be my line check.

I informed HR that I was sorry for the extra work I may have caused them and I would be happy to discuss the situation at length once home and if the senior wants me removed I’d cooperate, as that is a safety issue. I then phoned our operations staff to see if they could send me home that same day as to save the company money and not require them to buy my day off as they can’t send me home the fallowing day.

I feel like I was bullied and singled out unnecessarily by the cabin chief. I also feel like this incident was created by poor management and while the cabin chief was blaming me for creating drama he was the one in fact either creating the drama or allowing others to create it.

That’s the whole of it. I submitted almost that same accountancy in my report and will wait to see the out come. I am mostly disappointed in the situation as a whole and tried my hardest to diffuse the situations as they arose. I wish I had been more successful.